Tuesday, June 12, 2007

牙骹戰下集

我阿媽其實係一個奇人,作為我寫blog內容之主角,佢都算受歡迎,不斷有人問我牙骹戰有冇下集,當然有啦!我阿媽已經將佢抑鬱情緒化做能量追擊我.作為佢個女,唯有拋個身出黎,犧牲一下自己.

幕一
阿媽:我今日見到郭太,郭太個女係大學生,識左個未讀過大學既男仔,佢想反對,我地勸佢唔好,費時第日個女嫁唔出賴左佢.
(大家,請留意我阿媽背後的潛台詞)
Me:放心喎,我就萛嫁唔出,都唔係你責任.
阿媽:但係X太個仔至少讀過大學.俾張咭片佢,佢咪可以email你囉!(按:阿媽唔知咩叫email,只係我阿姨話佢知而家D人用email溝通,但佢套用時,竟又用得合宜,勁!)
Me:So...
阿媽:郭太都贊成我想法,唔應該放個機會.
Me:恭喜你搵到支持者.
阿媽:早前B太個仔我都冇介紹俾你,事關你阿姨見過,話唔arm你.
Me:真係麻煩哂!

幕二
阿媽:上次係超市見到x太,我個心好唔安樂.
Me:做咩唔安樂?
阿媽:我對人冇交待,見都唔見,好似睇唔起人地個仔.
Me:咁你咪亂咁話原來我拍緊拖囉!
阿媽:(直視我雙眼)咁你係咪拍緊拖丫?
Me:(俾佢嚇親,速逃)

幕三
阿媽:我想有個孫仔玩下
Me:阿妹咪生左囉
阿媽:叫你生呀!如果再有孫,應該男叫文俊,女叫樂詩.(可惜佢仲未記得自己而家個一粒孫個名,次次聽佢亂叫)
Me:名都改埋,咁你生番個咪得囉,我唔介意嫁

幕四
阿媽:你以前D男朋友幾好丫,而家去哂邊呀?
Me:你剩係記得我兩個男朋友,一個結左婚,一個無聯絡.
阿媽:佢都幾好嫁,做咩冇聯絡.
Me:你個時冇講嘛!

6 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

好心你順下你阿媽嘅意思,比張咭片人哋,食吓飯,睇吓戲,當識多個朋友又好,或者介紹佢比其他好姊妹又好嗎!其實好多偉大的愛情故事(從很多愛情電影中得知,例如最近嘅 Because I Said So),真愛都是由男女雙方反對父母安排相睇開始的。

4:43 PM  
Blogger luigigi said...

I watched that film la but.......

5:20 PM  
Blogger Mrs Chu said...

Consider these responses to your mom's nagging:
(1) '佢咪可以email你囉!" - tell her your former boyfriends have been sending you 4-仔 emails so you are not keen.
(2) 上次係超市見到x太,我個心好唔安樂: tell her go to a different 超市 next time
(3) 我想有個孫仔玩下 - tell her its not too late for her to have another baby. Mrs Chu can recommend a good doctor for her. All she needs is a sperm donor.
(4) '你以前D男朋友幾好丫,而家去哂邊呀' - tell her they have either (a) undergone a sex change; (b) went to Ngong Ping 360 one day and somehow never returned(c) turned gay.

5:33 PM  
Blogger not zero workshop said...

對白非常精彩, 無冷場.
不愧為才女同才女嘅阿媽

7:11 PM  
Blogger luigigi said...

遲D寫才女之苦

1:21 PM  
Blogger Mrs Chu said...

I'd rather be '財'女

5:59 PM  

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